The positions of churches on same-sex marriage and unions are as diverse and varied as the number of religious denominations in the United States.
Even within major denominations, there are differences, many of which manifest more clearly at the local and regional levels.
To date, legislatures, courts and voters in 19 states and the District of Columbia have legalized gay marriage, while 28 states have amended their constitutions to ban gay marriage.
As the culture changes and with court rulings supporting same-gender marriage, churches find themselves having to deal with the tension between culture and their religious teachings, even as some denominations are moving to change those teachings.
It’s a challenge between cultural transformation and historical Christian teaching, said Edward S. Little II, bishop of the Episcopal Church in Northern Indiana, adding, “We’re making our way through.”
At the heart of the issue is how marriage is defined.
While some religious groups want to define marriage as only between a man and a woman, others are willing to define it as two people, regardless of gender. Some don’t support same-sex marriage, but are willing to bless civil unions of gay couples.
Not all related denominations have the same position on the issue. The Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod, with 2.3 million members in the United States, opposes same-sex marriage, but the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America, the largest Lutheran synod with 4.5 million members, permits it if the pastor of a local church is willing to perform the ceremony.
Other denominations opposing same-sex marriage include the Roman Catholic Church, the American Baptist Churches, the Southern Baptist Church, the United Methodist Church, Islam, Orthodox Jewish Movement and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
Religious groups that support same-sex marriage also include the United Church of Christ, Unitarian Universalist Association of Churches, Society of Friends (Quaker), Conservative Jewish Movement and Reform Jewish Movement. Buddhism and Hinduism have no clear positions on the issue.
“What we stand against is its redefinition. Marriage is and can only be the union of one man and one woman. It is the only institution that unites a man and a woman with each other and with any child who comes from their union,” said a position paper on the issue from the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops provided by the Catholic Diocese of Fort Wayne-Bend.
Fred Everett, assistant to Bishop Kevin C. Rhoades of the Fort Wayne-South Bend Diocese, said Rhoades sits on the Doctrine Committee of the conference of bishops and helped write and review the statement.
On same-sex marriage, Everett said, “It’s not so much that we’re against it. It’s just that we don’t think it even exists.”
Marriage between a man and woman can produce offspring biologically, which is part of God’s plan for marriage, Everett said. If all one has is a loving relationship with a sexual component, it ceases to be marriage. “You’re no longer talking about a biological whole,” he added.
“We’re not talking about who they can love,” Everett said. People can love whoever they want, although same-sex relationships should be chaste, he added. He and the Catholic Church see this as an issue of Biblical truth, he said.
But the church is not just a fortress for people who already are perfect, Everett said. He used an analogy Pope Francis has used, calling the church a field hospital for the wounded. Everyone in life has wounds from sin, and it’s Christ and His truth that can provide the healing they seek, he said.
The challenge the Catholic Church faces is in working with same-sex couples who want to, for instance, have a child baptized in the faith.
It’s important to meet people where they are and ask them to take steps toward faith, Everett said. While Christians are called to live in truth, they are also called to love all people as they are, and help them on their journey.
The question to ask people on their faith journey is, “What’s your next step?” Everett said.
Even pastors in denominations with clear-cut positions are trying to sort out how to react, said Dan Gangler, assistant to Bishop Michael Coyner of the Indiana Conference of the United Methodist Church.
“We uphold very strongly that marriage is between a man and a woman,” Gangler said. “We also believe in equal civil rights in the United States.” That includes equal civil rights for gay and lesbian people, he added.
Gangler’s statements referred to a statement from Coyner to pastors made in the wake of several recent events, including a late-June appeals court ruling that struck down Indiana’s ban on same-sex marriage. Enacting that ruling has been stayed during a court appeal.
“Our United Methodist Church stance on marriage defines marriage as a covenant between a man and woman, and so our clergy are not allowed to officiate at same-gender weddings, and ceremonies which celebrate same-gender marriages may not be held in our UM churches,” Coyner said.
“If or when that stance is changed it will happen by the General Conference of our UMC, and a change of state law or the change of stance by other denominations does not apply to the religious practices of our UMC,” Coyner said.
The United Methodist General Conference, an international gathering, meets only once every four years and is the only body that can make changes in church policy on most issues. The next General Conference meets in 2016.
“Our United Methodist Church also declares that all persons, gay and straight, are persons of ‘sacred worth’ and so our pastors and churches are mandated to be in ministry ‘to and with’ all persons,” Coyner said. “Especially we are to advocate for equal civil rights for all persons.
“So any couple who are legally married should be respected as such by our pastors and churches, and if members of our churches they should be listed that way on membership records. Likewise the adopted children of any same-gender couples are eligible for baptism by our pastors in our churches, because baptism focuses upon the children and upon God’s grace.
“Any parents bringing a child for baptism should be willing to respond to the appropriate vows of faith, but it is always the discretion of the pastor of the local congregation whether any person is ready for membership or for any other sacraments or rituals,” Coyner said, adding that such rituals might be ways for a pastor to offer care and support for any same-gender couples, without that pastor violating church rules.
Some denominations have taken stances recently that have left more discretion to local pastors or bishops.
One such is the Episcopal Church, with 2 million members nationwide. It allows pastors to perform or bless same-sex unions, and allows bishops to exercise pastoral generosity to allow pastors to perform same-sex marriages, Little said.
On allowing such unions or marriages, Little said, “Some dioceses do, and some do not. This diocese does not.”
The Book of Common Prayer — the Episcopal Church’s liturgical “textbook” with roots dating back centuries — defines marriage as “the union between husband and wife in heart, body and mind,” Little said. With that definition, he said he couldn’t allow same-sex unions or marriages.
But that doesn’t mean gay or lesbian people are excluded from church life, Little said. “We welcome gay and lesbian people in our churches,” he said, adding that gay people are gifts to the church and the church’s goal is to be a gift to them, too.
The Presbyterian Church U.S.A., the largest Presbyterian denomination with 2.8 million members, proposed a change to its language on marriage in June. It would change the definition from being between a man and a woman to being between two people.
For that change to take effect, it will have to be approved by the majority of the nations’ 172 presbyteries, and even then the choice would be left up to local pastors.
“I’m certainly not in favor of it,” said Pastor Dave Hughes of Lima Presbyterian Church in Howe. Based on conversation at a recent local church session meeting, he said the congregation seemed to agree.
“It’s pretty clear from the Scripture that family as God designed it is a man and a woman,” Hughes said. “Any kind of sexual relation outside that is considered sin.”
Of the proposed change, Hughes said, “It’s a little bit of an embarrassment. … We’re redefining family. That’s bad for the church and society.”
Hughes added that he believes there are Christian homosexuals, but Christians accept the Scripture as true. “It’s not animosity or negativity or meanness toward anybody,” he said.
The uncertainty left by shifting positions may leave pastors wondering what they are to do, Coyner said. His answer: Do the best you can.
“Be faithful to your vows to United Methodist ministry, even if you choose to advocate for changing any of our UM policies. Be pastoral to each person and each situation you face. Be assured that your Bishop trusts you but also holds you accountable. Be blessed by God as you minister to all people in the name and spirit of Jesus Christ,” Coyner said.
Little also acknowledged the challenges of the situation.
“The ambiguity is awkward, but it may be the place where we encounter God’s grace,” Little said.