COMMENTARY: Fair fight on Indiana's RFRA?

But we have forgotten how to have an honest, meaningful fight. And “we” means all of us — the politicians and the pundits, and you and me.

That situation is not good for anyone.

That thought has been brewing for months. It’s boiling over now, as our state copes with its self-imposed crisis concerning the Religious Freedom Restoration Act.

Within minutes of the law passing The Statehouse, the extremists began their abuse on social media. People who backed the law were called “bigots” and worse. People who opposed the law encouraged Pence to stand his ground against left-wing radicals who were “targeting Christians” for oppression.

You can “Google it,” as they say.

The social media screaming only intensified in the days that followed, and it continues today.

Sadly, our political leaders didn’t help.

In the days that followed, Republican leaders — including Pence and Sen. Brent Steele, R-Bedford — were addressing opponents directly, not the concerns about the law. The law was “misunderstood” and “mischaracterized,” they said.

They stood by this despite warnings by their usual allies — from the chamber of commerce to business leaders — about the consequences. They did not acknowledge the differences between Indiana’s law on one hand and the federal regulation and other state’s statutes on the other. Those differences — and Indiana’s recent history of banning same-sex marriage — gave gays and lesbians reason for concern.

During a press conference Tuesday, Pence said he found the criticisms of Indiana and Hoosiers “deeply offensive” and said the national media was partly to blame for damaging the state’s reputation. I found it “deeply offensive” that our governor — a free press supporter and former talk show host — somehow mishandled multiple opportunities to get this right and fell upon an old crutch of blaming the media.

Democrats, meanwhile, called for a repeal of the law and watched Republicans — and the state — roast on a spit. They never acknowledged the real concerns faithful Hoosiers have about being pressed into acts they find morally wrong. For example, they did not acknowledge the impact some new health care rules could have on businesses. (Witness the Hobby Lobby decision — the business owners had to go all the way to the Supreme Court to establish that they did not have to pay for insurance coverage of contraception.)

During those first few, critical days, few people in politics acted to unite us. It still seems that each side is only reacting to the extremists on the other side, looking to outgun the folks who’ve offended them.

Lost amid all this shouting are millions of everyday, hospitable Hoosiers — deeply religious people and firmly convinced athiests, straights and gays, blacks and whites.

If we fought fairly, we wouldn’t have those issues. It can be done.

A local police chief and I fight from time to time. Every now and then he will call and read me the riot act over something we’ve printed. Usually it’s because he thinks our coverage of a crime has gone into too many details, putting officers — and, sometimes, the accused — at risk. I’l usually answer with our reasoning about why we covered a story the way we did.

We’ll have a conversation — something that seems rare these days. Sometimes, when it’s all said and done, he’ll acknowledge the newspaper did the right thing. Sometimes I’ll acknowledge that he was right.

Each time, we part with respect — just two fellows trying to do the best for local residents.

When we see each other afterwards, we don’t talk about the fight. That matter has been settled. We can smile, shake hands and talk about families or the weather or what’s new in our offices.

Sadly, these days, many folks aren’t interested in fair, respectful fights.

All that counts these days is winning.

And the winner isn’t always right.